2: What’s Stopping You from Singing? (And How to Let It Go)

Heather Maîr Thomas Author

A gentle look at common internalised beliefs, shame, fear of judgment, perfectionism, and how they present in the voice.

Growing up, I never questioned whether I was allowed to sing. It was simply part of life. Music flowed through family gatherings, chapel services, local events, evenings at the pub and walking home afterwards.

Everyone joined in, children, grandparents, fishermen and farmers. No one worried about sounding perfect. No one judged. Singing wasn’t about performance. It was about belonging.

But over the years, especially working with adults in more urban and formal environments, I’ve seen how many people carry fear and shame around their voice. Somewhere along the way, they were told, or made to feel, that singing wasn’t for them.

So what’s really stopping you from singing? And how can we begin to let it go?

Common Blocks That Stop Us From Singing

Some of the most common reasons people hold back from singing include:

- Being told they couldn’t sing
- Feeling judged or excluded in early experiences
- Comparing themselves to others
- Associating singing with performance, not expression

These messages don’t always come in dramatic moments. Sometimes they’re subtle - a teacher’s tone, a classmate’s teasing or simply the absence of encouragement.

But even small messages can leave lasting imprints.

Singing Is Personal  -  That’s Why We Can Feel So Vulnerable 

Your voice comes from your body. It is part of you. It carries emotion, memory and identity. When you sing, you’re revealing something personal.

That’s why fear around singing often runs deeper than we realise. It touches on self-worth and a need to feel safe.

In my work, whether through *Permission to Sing* or in private sessions, I’ve seen that, once we establish what your beliefs are, how gentle encouragement, unshakeable technique and a non-judgemental space can begin to undo that fear.

How to Begin Letting Go

Letting go of fear doesn’t mean ignoring it. It means recognising it and  meeting it with kindness.

Start here:
- Notice where the fear came from -  is it your belief, or someone else’s opinion?
- Allow yourself to make sound without pressure
- Practice humming or vowel play in private moments
- Treat your voice with curiosity, not criticism

You’re not doing this to prove anything. You’re doing it to reconnect.

You’re Allowed to Sing

You don’t need permission from anyone but yourself.

*Permission to Sing* is a calm, welcoming mini course created for adults who want to rediscover their voice, gently, safely, and without judgement.

If your voice has been quiet for too long, maybe it's time.

This is your invitation.

[Enrol in "Permission To Sing" - Mini Course]

Categories: : BEGINNERS, PERMISSION TO SING